


Too Late

by wanheda_505



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Post-Season/Series 05, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-21 03:42:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17635352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanheda_505/pseuds/wanheda_505
Summary: After finding out Monty and Harper are dead, Bellamy and Clarke grief their friends while they try to figure out feelings they both thought that were buried a long time ago.





	Too Late

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first time I ever try to write a fanfic. I just wanted to share with you my ideo of how Bellamy and Clarke's relationship could go if Jason didn't hate us.  
> Also, English is not my first language, which mean you'll probably find wrong grammar and all that.  
> With that said, I'd appreciate if you let in the comments how I can improve my writing and all that.

_Monty and Harper are dead._ Clarke says to herself again. She still can't believe it. They just got each other back and yet, she still lost them without having the opportunity to say goodbye or that she's sorry for how the things went down between them. Two more people for her to miss, but missing people is somethig Clarke's been doing all of her life. It still hurts like hell, though.

 

She doesn't know for how long she's been looking ate the window, at her new home, in Bellamy's arms.  _Bellamy._ Suddenly she's more aware of his presence. She can hear his heartbeat on his chest, where she has her head, feel his arm around her shoulders and her arm on his back. He's always been there for her. Even now, when they both lost people they care about, she can't help but feel he's the one comforting her, when he was with them in space for six years. Her heart feels too tight on her chest and she can't take it anymore.

 

Clarke let her arm fall from his back to her side and takes one step aside. His head turns to her, eyes frown. She thinks it's better to ignore it and goes to Jordan. The boy who lost his parents.

 

"Are you okay?" She asks him. A stupid question, but she can't think aof anything else to say.

 

"I knew that when they put me to cryo that when I would wake up, they wouldn't be here, but it still feels..." Clarke detects the tears in his eyes and her heart hurts. She knows what is feeling. How heard it is to lose a parent.

 

"I know. And I also know it is not the same, but you have us now," She says while putting a hand on his shoulder. "When we get down there, we'll do anything it takes to honour the,. What you dad did for us won't be in vein, I promise you." It's just the truth, she'll do whatever she can to do what Monty expected from them.  _Be the good guys._ She smiles and that's when she feels Jordan's arms around her. For a second, she doesn't know what to do but eventually she returns the hug, feeling Monty and Harper, and even Jasper, in it. Somehow Jordan has a lot of Jasper in him.

 

"Thank you," Jordan says letting go of her and gives her a small smile "I'm going to the algae farm, now. It makes me feel closer to dad." and with that, just turns around, stteping out of the bridge.

 

That's when she remembers Bellamy's still there. She turns around and finds him with a expression on his face she can't quite figure, something between amusement and sadness.

 

"What?" And she curses herself for the way her voice breaks.

 

Bellamy laughs a little "Madi turned you in such a mum." She just rolls her eyes, but deep down she know that's true. Then, not knowing what to do, she looks at the ground between them. "Are you okay?" He asks stepping to be in front of her and putting a hand on her arm, But Clarke moves to stay in front of window again, missing the hurt in Bellamy's expression.

 

"I'm okay. It's just wierd." She can still feel the ghost of his touch on her skin.  _He has a girlfriend, Clarke_  "I need some time alone" She says turning towards the door, not meeting his eyes. But before she reaches it, Bellamy grabs her forearm, turning her around to look at him.

 

"You're not going anywhere without talking to me." Bellamy says with the intensity she remembers from 131 years ago "We used to talk about everything. When did that change?" She knows exactly the reason.

 

"We changed, Bellamy" She tells him, turning around to look at him "Everything changed." That's the sad truth between them. They were best friends, partners, but now, looking at him, something feels different. Maybe losing him for 6 years made Clarke realize her feelings for him were deeper than just a friendship. She should have realized sooner and maybe then she could have told him before they got separated, and maybe he would have told her he felt the same. But those are just maybe's she will never have an answer for, because now he's dating someone else and thinking about it or remembering them kissing right in front of her hurts her more than she wants to addmit.

 

"But we can go back to be what we were" He has tears in his eyes "I miss that. I miss who I was when I was with you. I miss you" Clarke can feel her heart beating faster at his words "Why do I still miss now that I got you back?" And that's the question, because she feels the same.

 

"Bellamy," He closes his eyes at the sound of his name, as if even his name sound different on her mouth now "We can't go back to who we were, you know that.!

 

"Why?" And again he tried to touch her.

 

"Because you have a girlfriend!" She shouts and both of them freeze for a moment. Then his eyes widen with the realization and Clarke closes her eyes when she finally registers the words that came out of her mouth. She feels like being around him is going to make her say things she will regret later, so she tried to run away from him.

 

"Clark, stop!" Bellamy says, blocking her way and grabs her forearms to keep her firm in place "What do you mean?"

 

"Nothing. Just forget I said that." She tried to escape from his touch, his hands burning her skin, but that only makes him tight his hands around her arms.

 

"I don't want to forget it, I want to know why!" He says, sounding more desesperate than she has ever heard him. Clarke can't even meet his eyes because she know that if she does that, she will reveal him everything she's keeping inside her for so long. "Please, Clarke" The sound of her name on his lips used to be her favprite sound, but now it just breaks her heart a little more.

 

"I..." She finally looks up at him. Her eyes meeting his. Blue meeting brown. The warmth of his eyes still sends a wave through her whole body "I can't be who I was with you when you're with her" Clarke knows she sounds so defeated as she feels, but still hopes that, even if she can't tell him everything that's ging through her head, he can still get what she means. So she tries to express it with her eyes, hoping that somehow the way they used to communicate with jut one look wasn't lost along the way they lost each other.  _I'm in love with you and I can't stand watching you with her._ But then Bellamy lets go of her arms and takes one step back and Clarke knows he understood the meaning behind her words.

 

"No." He takes another step back and his hand goes to his hair, a frustrated gesture, she notices "No, you don't get to say that!" He sound angry and when he looks at her again she knows for a fact that's how he actually feels "You can't say that! Not when I watched you being with Finn and then Lexa. I watched you being in love with them, and when they died, I hoped you would finally notice me . That I was there for you. Always and no matter what. I waited for you but never said anything because I told myself everyday that I wasn't worth to be with you, never was good enough for you." Clarke feels all the air escape from her lungs at his confession, because she kow what his words mean:  _You always chose other people over me_. But that's not true, she always cared about him, Finn and Lexa knew that. 

 

Clarke doesn't know when exactly she fell in love with Bellamy, but she knows when she realized. She wanted to tell him when they talked before Primfaya. She almost did, but she knew he would never forgive himself for letting her behind after knowing her feelings, so she didn't.

 

"Can't you see that I'm the one who was never good enough for you?" She yells, tears falling down her face "I wanted to tell you everything I felt for you before Primfaya, but I was afraid you would blame yourself for going."

 

"Well, guess what, Clarke? I still blamed myself!" He shouts " I thought about you every say" I couldn't stop thinking about how much I wanted you to be there with me. How much I needed you to be okay. And how much I wish I could have told you I loved you." They both crying, thinking about what could have been different if they were honest with each other 131 years ago "But then Echo was there and the thought of you being dead was just too much for me to handle. All my regrets were killing me, so I decided to do what you told me. I used my head, hoping you would be proud of me." His voice starts to break, just like Clarke feels her heart. He looks at her in the eye and hold her hand, a simple gesture but Clarke felt like it could solve all of her problems. Except it doesn't, it only makes it worse "Madi told me abou the radio calls."  _Of course she did_ , Clarke thinks "Why me?"

 

"It doesn't matter, Bellamy" Clarke let go of his hand and down.

 

"I need to know. Please" The plead of his voice is just too much.

 

She looks up at him again "What do you want me to tell you, Bellamy? That I love you? Well, I do love you," The tears are falling harder now "It doesn't change anything."

 

"It changes everything, Clarke! How can't you see that?" Bellamy takes one step closer to her "Because I love you too. I've always been yours, even long before I knew. I need you in my life." H egrabs both of her hands now, looking down at the sight and taking a deep breath before looking at her again "We can still make it right. I want to make it right. I want to be with you. Please, Clarke, give me a chance to make you happy." He sounds so desesperated but determinated.

 

Clarke almost laughs at that. How could he not realize that he made her happier than she always thought she deserved. He made her happy just being him. The few times she smiled while being on Earth were because of him.

 

"Bellamy," She lets her hands fall to her side. Look at him one more, preparing to break his heart all over again. SH ehopes he understands she wants to be with him more than anything, but... "We can't do that" She swalows "Because, even tough I love you, I know you love Echo and the last thing you want to do is hurt her."

 

"Clarke, I-"

 

"It's  ****too late, Bellamy..." Clarke cuts him " **It's too late for us**." And with that, she passes by him and decides it's time to let him go. He deserves to be with someone who didn't make him suffer like she did, someone who's not afraid to love him. He deserves better than her.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it as much I did. Thank you for reading it, and again sorry for any wrong grammar or use of words.


End file.
